Dual....:-)
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
