So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
