Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
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