actually, I'm a sock model
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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