I am puke
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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