I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
