He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I party with great urgency now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
