Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
