i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize