My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
