I just gift wrapped bread.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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