We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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