Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We need a shit load of segways right now
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
