hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
