My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry about my life...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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