i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
