If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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