i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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