I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
