Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have post one night stand depression
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