His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
