i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
