Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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