you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
