i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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