Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
