Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
