If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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