I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
