I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
