Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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