some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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