drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
