youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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