"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
