I just threw up on my dentist
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
