So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
