you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
