I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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