I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
