Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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