she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
