What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize