i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
