I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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