is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
