That's intense
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
