yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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