Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You took a bar mat shot.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
