Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
