that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize