chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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