I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
