she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
